Yup, David, it is.

It's definitely been a while. I apologize to my reading base of... oh... one, maybe two? =) I've had a lot of stuff to figure out lately. God let me know, in no uncertain terms, something that He and I are going to be working on for a while. And it has gotten better. Also, there's the whole issue about being used, led on, and manipulated by a friend that I started letting my walls down around, and I am tempted right now to really unload about that because there is a lot of hurt aching in my gut, but I think I'm going to make the wiser decision and not. Anyways, for those reasons, I haven't really had time to do much extra writing (or I didn't trust myself to). But I am back, wahoo!

So we're reading this book by Terry Virgo called God's Lavish Grace, and there is apparently a scene in 2 Samuel that I never realized. David was wanting to build a house for God, and God basically came down, told him not to worry about it, and whispered promises of the plans that He had for David. It was beautiful, and David realized it. All he could do with sit there, dazzled and overwhelmed, and ask, "Is this Your usual way of dealing with man?" That's 2 Samuel 7:19, by the way.

The raw honesty and emotion in David's single question really spoke to me, because the amazing thing, yes. That IS God's usual way with dealing with man. Despite what we deserve and what we do or who we are, God find extreme joy in loving us just for the sake of loving us. And all we can do... well... be loved. It's a weird feeling, being loved that fully, especially by God. It's one of those incredible feelings that makes your heart feel funny, and you almost want it to stop because you're overwhelmed, but at the same time, you don't ever want it to stop. And the amazing thing is, it never will. I don't have to do anything to deserve it. I won't be hurt by it. I won't have to second guess it. It just is, because He just is.

I love that. Oh, I love that. How often do I feel God's love and then go, "Okay, God, You love me, so let me do this..." And lately, I feel like He's saying "Hold up. Just let Me love you for a bit." Why is it so hard for me to just sit in it? It should be easy, but it's not always. The overwhelming aspect I mentioned sometimes is uncomfortable because I DON'T deserve it, and I CAN'T pay it back. But God isn't expecting me to. He just wants me to enjoy it. Mmmm.