Do you ever get hit with random tidal wave moments of "Dude, Jesus was freakin' B.A."? I mean, sure, you can call me irreverent if you'd like, but I mean it. For all of the talk today of people saying that they're legit or that they're truly themselves or that they're not going to stand for anything, Jesus lived it. Jesus DEFINED legit. Jesus was so thoroughly Himself. Jesus spoke His mind so poignantly and so passionately, but He did it in a way that was steeped in love and purpose. And Jesus didn't put up with Pharisees for anything.
I remember the first time that I actually laughed while reading the Bible. Yes, there is a correlation between this and how awesome Jesus is; just wait. I was reading Luke 20:1-8. Basically, the Pharisees were down to grasping at straws to accuse Jesus of something, of ANYTHING, and so they come up to Him while He's doing His thing and preaching, and say, "Where's your credentials? By who's authorization are you speaking and acting like this?" Jesus knew what was going on. He knew they were trying to trap Him, so He comes back with probably the best retort in all of history - "Answer me this one question first. The baptism of John - who authorized that one? Heaven or humans?" And the Pharisees were, like, "...uh..." and huddled together and basically realized that they couldn't say anything. They either had to say heaven and then accept Jesus' authorization from heaven, or say humans and basically be lynched because the Jewish culture considered John a prophet, and they were pretty particular about their prophets. They couldn't say a thing! So they just stood there and sheepishly kicked their feet and said, "We don't know." And so Jesus said, "So I don't have to answer your question either." JESUS FOR THE WIN!!! I mean, seriously, could anyone have done better? Jesus rocked. He wasn't going to play their game. It's like a huge biblical boo-ya.
It did raise a question for me, though. The authorization was from heaven, so why didn't Jesus just say so? Why did He circumvent the question, albeit in an awesome way? It's because the Pharisees didn't really care to know. They just wanted to find some way to hook Him. They didn't care, it wasn't going to affect them, their hearts were hardened, and they weren't listening. Jesus knew that. So why play their game? Why give them that power? Why answer questions when He knew that the answer wasn't going to cause a change? Sometimes, I wonder if that applies to us as well.
I ask God questions; oh, I ask Him so many questions. I'm a curious person, and I don't like not knowing things. And although I know that God listens to my questions, I often wonder why He doesn't answer them all of the time. He could even answer with a no. I don't care. I just want to know. And so this story got me to thinking... is it because I wouldn't really listen - really, truly listen with my heart and soul and faith - to the answer? Is it because He knows that, regardless of what He says, I'm going to keep heading down a path blindly anyways, and so why not let me until I come to Him with an open heart and a surrendering will? It makes sense. If the answer isn't going to change me, then it serves no real purpose at all.
I realized that this week. I've had a lot to process from the weekend, and it hit me that during the time of initial frustration and anger and tears, when I was literally yelling question after question at God (and just as a side, He wants us to do that at times - He's more than big enough to handle our temper tantrums), I didn't want to know the answers. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to cry. And the only answer that I would've actually wanted to hear was God saying, "Just kidding!", and even then, I probably would've been angry. Answers weren't going to do any good right then. So, God let me have my tantrum. He let me get all of my feelings out, and clear my heart and head. And then - and only then - He started whispering glimmers of answers to me. I realize now that I would've completely rejected those answers when I was yelling my questions. But now? Now, they're the most beautiful form of comfort and vision and passion and love...
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