The deepest aspiration in my heart is to be one of those cool, deep, insightful people who post religious thoughts on their Twitter. Half of my friends do that, and I sit there and go, "Hmm... well... the line at W.O.K. is really long... let's tweet about that." I'm reading this week's chapter of God's Lavish Grace today, and stuff hit me. Like, I was underlining at least one sentence on every page. And I don't usually underline books. Which is a mod habit that I want to sometime get into, but eh. Anyways, so I kept thinking, "Oh! I can tweet that!" but after the third one, I just threw in the towel. Forget tweets. I'm not an avid Twitter-er. I'll blog about it. Besides, that's the downfall of tweets - you say something, and then you just have to leave it at that. I talk too much for that.
"God's gifts are not rewards. They are not proofs of holiness or marks of maturity, only given to the most advanced Christians do demonstrate God's approval of their spiritual progress."
How often have I felt guilty at church because I don't have a tongue, a word, a song, or anything? How often have I looked at people who do and wanted so badly to be as strong in Christ as they are? It's such a terrible, painful feeling... and it's pure ridiculousness! Christianity is not a competition, is not a popularity contest! God doesn't play favorites. He doesn't sit up there and say to Himself, "Oh, well, Sohaib is did a good job praying last week, so let's give him the gift of healing." No! He loves each of us, and has gifts for each of us, and it's by His grace that He gives us those gifts - by grace alone. If we say that we can't do anything in our power to save ourselves, if we say that we can't do anything in our power to redeem ourselves, if we say that we can't do anything in our power to make God love us more, then how hypocritic and idiotic of us is it to think that we can somehow receive spiritual gifts by something in our power? We can't! All we can do is ask for them, and God will provide them as He sees fit. It's not like the star system used in elementary school. Spiritual gifts aren't Pokemon cards. You don't collect them, and you aren't a better Christian if you have more or if you have the "cooler" ones. They aren't report cards. They are an overflow of God's grace. And nothing more.
"Beware of the danger of missing [grace] by questioning, 'Who am I to do this?' ...Beware the danger of thinking that because you are not as prominent as the next person, God's grace is not functioning through you."
This fits in so well with the problem of comparing myself that I have, and that kind of tied into the first thought. Can we really sit and soak in God's grace if the entire time we're saying, "Why me? I suck at this, and that other person is so much better"? No one person is better than the other in God's eyes. Ugh, that lie that Satan spins and throws at us is so potent. But it's a lie. It's a baldface lie. "Who am I to do this?" I am a child of God! I have the righteousness of Christ! I have the power of the Spirit! I have the favor of God! Who am I NOT to do this? Comparing myself to others gets me absolutely nowhere.
"Don't develop the attitude that it doesn't really matter; God will always forgive me; grace covers it; I can do whatever I like."
I never really thought that I struggled with this until I started thinking a bit more about it. I'm fighting an epic thought battle right now. My heart is having to give up some emotions and hopes and stuff that it doesn't want to, and so certain thoughts keep on coming to my head, certain memories keep being hit on replay. It'll be so hard for God to heal me if I keep picking at that wound. God and I have talked about this. I have to play defense against my thoughts. This. Is. Vital. But it is so easy, when something pops into my head, to think, "Let's just entertain this for a little while longer... God's going to keep working on me, and He knows this is hard..." That is sheer abuse of God's grace. Just because it is true that God will never give up on me in this and that He knows fully how difficult and painful this is, I in no way have the right to keep feeding those thoughts just because of those truths. It does matter. As much as it hurts to put a stop to those thoughts and really dig out this stuff going on in my heart and in my head, it absolutely, without a doubt has to happen. And I can't use grace as an excuse to keep putting it off.
"You can be enthusiastic, but wrong! Paul describes the Jews of his generation as 'having a zeal for God but not according to knowledge'. ...People can give all their devotion to something that will ultimately prove to be in vain because it's not what God requires."
I am enthusiastic. Often. That's probably one of the top twenty words that could be used to describe me. And when you couple enthusiasm with God, then I really get excited. But this is something that God has worked on me in the past - just because something is good, just because something will benefit the Kingdom, doesn't mean that it's for me to do. I have to channel and focus my enthusiasm. Otherwise, it's just a lot of works. And this plays into the pride issue that I'm working on - sure, I want to help out and do all of this stuff, but is it what God wants? Or is it what simply what I want, and are my motives actually pure? Yeah... tough questions... still working on that. =)
"We live with grace. Grace works with me. Grace is my partner. Sometimes you feel like you are hardly working at all because God's grace is working in you."
I always considered grace a one-time thing. I was a sinner, grace found me, I am free. But grace never ends! Ah... mmmm. =) And that's all I have to say about that.
"It was not about dramatic power ministry. It was about the challenge of day-to-day routine."
This was Terry Virgo's comment on the Philippians verse that is quoted so often - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And while that is true, how often do we selectively apply it? I know that, when I think of that verse, I think of these big ideas and wishes that I have about people knowing Christ and love being shown and walls being demolished. And that's true. But the "things" that I can do through Christ also includes the littler stuff. Like getting through my Wednesdays. Like not being frustrated to the point of tears about music theory. Like not having a bad lesson. Like having a bad lesson. My days wear me out, I'll admit it. But I can do it, because of Christ. He cares just as much about my little things as He does about the big global things.
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