In awe.

Newsflash - when you place your identity in God, you can tend to forget who you are when you forget who God is.

There are times, which happen more often than I'd like to admit, that God becomes a character to me, a confusing and contradictory character in a very long story. In that story, the author not only decided to not put the chapters in chronological order, but also decided to throw in some ancient Hebrew medical tomes and civil order handbook near the beginning and a lot of snail mail at the end. I don't really like stories that don't make sense all that much, so I stop reading it and although I don't forget about the character, I lose a hefty amount of my drive to figure Him out.

My almighty and all-powerful Lord becomes one-dimensional, abstract, vacant, and distant.

And since He is where my identity is placed, I become one-dimensional, abstract, vacant, and distant.

I become, in a word, dead. I mean, I know I'm not because my Savior took that death and traded it in for a brand new life, but that should cause me to sing and dance and dream and worship... it should... but it doesn't. My heart is heavy. The passion in my life is gone because I forgot how passionate my God is. But regardless of how heavy my heart is, it knows that it belongs in God's arms.

I went to a church conference last weekend, and I pleaded with God, "Show me who You are again. I KNOW You are great and powerful and REAL, but I need my heart to know that too." And He said, "Daughter, you just needed to ask Me." And I felt my spirit come back. I felt the Spirit come back. And all I could do was marvel.

Stop for a second, and just think about it. These people in the Bible were REAL. These stories are more than that, they're HISTORY. It's so easy for them to lose their power because we know the stories so well. If we were thrown into a furnace, it would be a huge ordeal. But we read those 20 or so verses with such a complacency because we know what happens. A miracle. A MIRACLE! That doesn't even phase us - but it should! And Jesus! Ohmigosh, Jesus! Can you believe Him? Not only did He save the world, oh no, but He was sassy and fierce, but in a tender way. He was a giant rebel, but He was holy. He was bold and brave, and He died. And HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD. He rose from the freakin' dead! I mean... REALLY!!?!?

And heaven... I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going to be LIVING for ETERNITY in WORSHIP of THE KING OF EVERYTHING!!! 

It's hard to be passionate about something that seems to have lost it's reality. It's hard to throw yourself into a mission when you've lost your focus.

Thanks for giving me my focus back, God. I am absolutely in awe of You.